The Whirlwind Begins
The phone rings or the doorbell chimes…it’s Starry Eyed Daughter with Handsome Boyfriend. “Guess what, Mom! We’re engaged!”
In the blink of an eye Handsome Boyfriend becomes Future Son in Law and your world is plunged into a whirlwind of wedding planning. If you are fortunate (like I was) you already like Future Son in Law and are ready to welcome him with open arms into your family. If you are not fortunate–well, that is the subject for a future post!
Going on the assumption that you like or even love Future Son in Law, we’ll begin the discussion with what to do after you’ve oohed and aahed over the beautiful ring and wondered how FSinL could have afforded it.
Here are my recommended first steps:
A. Sit down with Starry Eyed Daughter and FSinL and discuss some major things–namely budget and each one’s vision for the wedding. Include Dad in this discussion if he wants to be there. He will usually be most interested in the wedding budget and how FSinL is going to support his little girl:)
B. Have a 3 ring binder with pockets in which to keep notes, pictures, ads, ideas, business cards, etc.
C. Decide on the role that you as a mother will play in the wedding planning process. Several choices will be:
1 . major planner
2. passive bystander
3. supportive confidant (emotionally and financially)
Let your daughter tell you which one she wants you to be. Some girls want their mom to do it all. Some want their mom to let them run with it and some want you to be ready to step in whenever they need you. Remember, even though you’ll feel like this day belongs to YOU–it really belongs to HER.
Powered by FireStats
July 7th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Very good stuff to know. I like your writing, it is beautiful. Keep up the great info here.
July 7th, 2008 at 8:20 pm
Thank you very much for the encouraging words!
July 8th, 2008 at 9:01 am
My wedding was a huge whirlwind. My mom and I did pretty much everything. My husband proposed on Christmas Day 2005. I wanted a fall wedding (I was thinking October 2007), but Hubby’s response was, “I’m not waiting 2 years!” ARGH!
Actually, I had always wanted a September wedding. At some point I changed my mind, but in the end, I’m so glad I had the wedding in September.
I then learned that October is “the new June” and my wedding was going to be in September. I had 9 months to plan! Somehow, it all came together beautifully.
July 8th, 2008 at 11:05 am
My wedding was in June. My daughter’s wedding was in June. But I have always loved fall, the colors, the pumpkin decorations, everything. So I am really hoping Daughter #2 wants a Sept., Oct., or Nov. wedding. October would be my first pick, but you are right–October is the new June around here also. What were your colors?
July 8th, 2008 at 11:11 am
Oh, I forgot, please leave comments whenever you can–since you and your mom went through this recently I would love to hear things from your perspective.
Also, just a note–Daughter #2 is not even engaged or seriously thinking about marriage, so hopefully I will have awhile before this happens. But I want to be ready just in case–after all, at this stage of her life Starry Eyed Daughter had not even started dating Handsome Boyfriend:)
July 9th, 2008 at 10:48 am
My colors were latte and chocolate.
My husband and I dated 3 years before he proposed. My bridal gown was by Demetrios http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o159/marniedance76/weddinggown.jpg and my bridesmaids dresses were Mackenzie Michaels: http://www.mackenziemichaels.com/shtml/coll-88180.shtml.
July 9th, 2008 at 11:03 am
Doh! The link to the bridesmaid dress defaults. That’s not the dress!
There it is: http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o159/marniedance76/bridesmaid.jpg
And I think that was the color, too.
July 9th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
Gorgeous dresses!! What a good idea to provide links so we could see them. Anybody else please feel free to do the same.