The phone rings or the doorbell chimes…it’s Starry Eyed Daughter with Handsome Boyfriend. “Guess what, Mom! We’re engaged!”
In the blink of an eye Handsome Boyfriend becomes Future Son in Law and your world is plunged into a whirlwind of wedding planning. If you are fortunate (like I was) you already like Future Son in Law and are ready to welcome him with open arms into your family. If you are not fortunate–well, that is the subject for a future post!
Going on the assumption that you like or even love Future Son in Law, we’ll begin the discussion with what to do after you’ve oohed and aahed over the beautiful ring and wondered how FSinL could have afforded it.
Here are my recommended first steps:
A. Sit down with Starry Eyed Daughter and FSinL and discuss some major things–namely budget and each one’s vision for the wedding. Include Dad in this discussion if he wants to be there. He will usually be most interested in the wedding budget and how FSinL is going to support his little girl:)
B. Have a 3 ring binder with pockets in which to keep notes, pictures, ads, ideas, business cards, etc.
C. Decide on the role that you as a mother will play in the wedding planning process. Several choices will be:
1 . major planner
2. passive bystander
3. supportive confidant (emotionally and financially)
Let your daughter tell you which one she wants you to be. Some girls want their mom to do it all. Some want their mom to let them run with it and some want you to be ready to step in whenever they need you. Remember, even though you’ll feel like this day belongs to YOU–it really belongs to HER.